Ashley Jamesのインスタグラム(ashleylouisejames) - 11月15日 01時35分

Do you know what makes me sad? That society makes us feel that being single is bad - especially by a certain age.

Entering my 30s, I had SO many people ask me when I was going to settle down (like I could click my fingers and the perfect person would appear). I’d genuinely have people tell me I’d be left on the shelf.

I had friends talk about potentially settling for less because they’re older and it’s too late to start over. Or people in unhappy relationships for fear of being ‘too old’. It’s crazy because life is so long, if you think about where life was 5 years ago and how much has changed, imagine how different it could be again in 5 years.

I’m at an age in life now where lots of friends are having babies, some are choosing to remain childfree, some still haven’t met their person and some are going through break ups/divorce.

I obviously have a partner and 2 babies now, but I didn’t have any of that until the end of 2019. I was single for the first few years of my 30s and I was just as fulfilled and happy as now. You don’t need a partner OR baby to be happy and fulfilled.

I’m also no less lonely now than I was then, in fact I’d say parts of motherhood have been my most lonely days.

So why did I and many other women have 30 in our head as this scary, undesirable age? Well, until recently, women weren’t able to buy houses, open bank accounts, have babies or sex outside of marriage without community banishment. We were called spinsters if not married by 23. Our entire existence and quality of life depended on being selected by a man. But times have changed! And so has our life span - the average life expectancy for British women is 80. So we aren’t running out of time.

I love my 30s and love seeing other women thriving too. So if you’re scared about turning 30: don’t be. Being in my 30s, and having such a long single chapter taught me the value of female friendships and sisterhood. They’re the love of my lives.

So I want to say, whatever chapter you’re in: don’t compare to anyone else’s and remember, single doesn’t equate to lonely. ❤️🙏

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