Ashley Jamesさんのインスタグラム写真 - (Ashley JamesInstagram)「Life lately featuring Ada's first temperature, Alfie's first McDonald's, and my inner mental battles. 🤍 I wouldn't say these are the most exciting collection of images, but I think there's something equally as important in sharing the slower days. The duller days. The more ordinary days. Matrescence has hit me hard since we got back. For those not familiar with the term, it really helped me understand what I was going through with Alf - swipe along to see the description. But it's basically that invisible psychological change that you go through when you become a mum. I didn't think it would happen this time around, because - well I'm already a mum! But I'm handling it better because I know this is a very normal part of the process so I'm leaning into it rather than fighting against it. The mum identity. There's these contradictory things always running through my mind. I feel like all my life at the moment is about being a mum. And I guess that's not necessarily good or bad. It's both. I'm happy being in my mum era, but occasionally I get these pangs of mourning for my previous life. Just before lockdown. That version of me didn't want to be a mum. I was happy. My life was going to plan. And then I came out of lockdown a different person on a different life track. So when I think about it too much I just have to sort of catch my breath. Remember how lucky I am to have Alf and Ada who I am just obsessed with. I think when I get the balance better of seeing friends more it will be better. And I'm giving myself grace because it's been nearly 6 months of exclusively breastfeeding, of missing birthdays and dinners and evenings. It's been the best 6 months of my life in some ways. But I'm looking forward to getting some of my life back. But I don't want the time to go to quickly. But I'm excited for independence. But I'm not ready to leave her. But I need some space. It's all just such a paradox isn't it? But experience with Alf reminds me that soon these months will feel like seconds. And all the other things will still be there. So I'm just leaning in and embracing the chapter... Nose suckers and all. 🤸‍」8月21日 5時14分