ジェーン・パークのインスタグラム(thejanepark) - 9月21日 08時31分

Grace giggled today. Albeit a very short giggle, but needless to say it surprised all of us. My husband was playfully and carefully tossing her up in the air, an activity that she absolutely adored pre seizures. Her shrieking belly laughs used to echo in our front room, the types of giggles that used to take her (and our) breath away.

Those memories of her make days like today extra difficult. In the midst of this hellscape, we heard a tiny giggle that stopped us all in our tracks and the family erupted with joy. And while I felt a tinge of relief, I simultaneously felt anguish. My aunt was trying to capture her giggle while I threw her up in the air and instead she caught me crying.

Allowing myself to celebrate these little improvements is something I hope I will give myself permission to do one day instead of wondering what milestones she would hit at this age if none of this happened. The thing I struggle with the most is wondering what it’s like to raise a “neuro-typical” child. It’s something I don’t think I will ever experience and it eats away at me every day.

I hate that my aunt captured me breaking down but I really hope that this will be a video we look back on one day and realize where we came from and how much Grace has improved. Thank you for letting me be so transparent and I hope you all continue to keep my little Grace in your heart. #specialneeds

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