Cory Richardsのインスタグラム(coryrichards) - 2月5日 04時10分

Ten years ago today on February 4th, 2011 after a narrow miss in a big avalanche descending in a storm from the first winter ascent of Gasherbrum II in Pakistan 🇵🇰 Moments after we dug ourselves out, I plunged headfirst into a massive crevasse. Suspended from the rope, hanging in a vacuous blue room of ice that faded to blackness under my feet, I felt my core collapse. Trauma is a topic of late...a big one. It is impossible to know what kind of experience will trigger PTSD and it isn't clear why the same experience is stored differently in different bodies and brains. What we do know is that developmental trauma and previous traumatic occurrence predispose individuals to a greater degree than those without. That is to say if you've experienced one form of trauma in your life (especially during your early childhood development) you're much more likely to experience acute PTSD from trauma layering later on in life. It's easy to reserve trauma for arenas like combat, but the reality is the brain isn't so subjectively discerning. Trauma is trauma. So regardless of 'how', the 'what' of the body is consistent. I couldn't have known that this experience on Gasherbrum II would lead to such a spectacular unraveling for me. But taken in hindsight, the hallmarks of trauma are laid bare: explosive anger, anxiety, memory loss, substance abuse, disassociation, alienation, and blinding depression. It took years to see through it. My coping mechanisms were corrosive and disintegrated all of my most meaningful relationships. My actions were toxic. And yet it's important that I don't excuse poor decision making as the result of trauma. Rather, my hope is we can collectively examine the actions of our friends and loved ones who have experienced trauma for clues to their suffering. We should take the invitation to wake up to the reality of it...especially in this moment. Its a meaningful conversation that im happy to see opening up. But it's also important that we don't cheapen the severity and reality of it by claiming everything as trauma or blaming all poor action on it. All I can offer is the encouragement to open up to it...because more than ever, we need each other.

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